phantom love

and that’s all you were

a phantom in the dark

a ghost hidden


you liked to think of yourself

much more visible

beef up the role

make yourself up as a saint

like your words could save me

save anyone


and yet

where were you

when i needed you most

or when i needed your love

or needed YOU



you were too busy

with other things

better people

better worries


and it became a constant

for you to be like this

leaving me alone

making me feel like

my emotions were invalid

or a burden on your perfect world


and the day i left

walked out on your black soul

tarnishing the yellow i had been painting the walls with

for so long

i felt no longer haunted

by the loss

of someone who should have been there

but was not


because when i now look back on the pictures

you are not crystal clear

like everyone else


you are a transparent phantom –

not there


never was


and never will be.




2 thoughts on “phantom love

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